If you thought the McDonald’s crime syndicate only included Hamburglar, Captain Crook, and Evil Grimace, prepare to meet their Japanese cousin, Kaito Nuggets (怪盗ナゲッツ).
This phantom nugget thief is launching a crime wave across Japan by dipping his nuggets into the sauces of unsuspecting diners. His target is the two brand new dipping sauces released by McDonald’s Japan, Creamy Cheddar Cheese and Fruit Curry. Be on the watch out for his fast food crimes.
The Hunt for Kaito Nuggets
Since Officer Big Mac is apparently not on the case, aspiring applicants to the McDonaldland police force can search for clues to track down Kaito Nuggets’ whereabouts in McDonald’s restaurants across Japan. Note that the suspect wears a black mask, black top hat, red bow tie, and bright yellow dinner jacket. He keeps fresh nuggets cocked between his thumb and forefinger on both hands, always ready to dunk in your dipping sauces. Once he has committed his devious act, he escapes by moonwalking away. All relevant evidence should be immediately forwarded to burger police headquarters by tweeting Kaito Nuggets name in Japanese as a hashtag; #怪盗ナゲッツ.
Thankfully, Mayor McCheese has set a bounty on the head of this condiment pilferer. One intrepid crime fighter will win an 18-karat gold Chicken McNugget. This treasure from deep in the McDonald’s vault weighs in at 50 grams with an estimated value of $2000. That should cover daily fees and expenses for any deep fried detective.
No Nuggets Are Safe!
Despite the national manhunt, this mysterious nugget thief continues to taunt the McDonaldland authorities through his Twitter account @kaitonuggets. His smug profile picture makes it clear he has no worries about being captured and his nuggets are locked and loaded to loot your tasty dipping sauces.
— nuggets (@kaitonuggets) January 10, 2018
It seems like the night and all the McNugget sauces belong to the criminal mastermind and fashion guru Kaito Nuggets. Considering how good Fruit Curry and Creamy Cheddar Cheese sound, I might be tempted to start a career as an international thief just to liberate these flavors back to the United States. In the meantime, enjoy your nuggets and watch out for mysterious men in bright clothing committing unauthorized acts of dipping.